lifestyle

Far Above Rubies

In the last chapter in the book of Proverbs, we have a description of what King Lemuel’s mother called “a virtuous woman”. Through the years that I have been a Christian, I have heard many women say that Proverbs 31 discourages them when they read it, because the woman described here seems too perfect and they could never live up to her example, or do all the things that it mentions; other women have just ignored this passage altogether, saying it is not relevant for today. However, since this chapter was included in the Bible, I trust there are some valuable principles that we can learn from it.

First, we can see that she is always faithful and kind to her husband; she also works very hard to help provide food for her family; she sacrificially serves her entire household, even missing some sleep to prepare nutritious food for them; she shows wisdom in her real estate and business dealings; she is physically strong; she grows some of her food, and makes some beautiful clothes for herself and her family; she sells some of them, and probably gives food and clothing to the poor and needy; she is not idle, gossipy, lazy, foolish, or unkind to others; she opens her mouth with wisdom; she is honored, praised, and blessed by her husband, children, and others; but most importantly, she is a woman who fears (honors, respects, and loves) the Lord.

None of that is unattainable for any woman. Even if its not natural or easy for us, there are many different ways to learn some of the skills that the virtuous woman possessed. Many of us were not raised that way in our home or our culture, but we can start with a desire and diligence, and then ask God to help us.

Do you want to be a woman who fears God and is honored by her husband and children, even if this means living a more modest and simple lifestyle; or do you want to wake up someday, and find your husband gone, your children grown (perhaps too busy to spend time with you in your later years), your physical beauty is gone, and all that you have is a big house, a large bank account, and lots of stuff, but you feel lonely and empty? Saddest of all, you may find that you have hardened your heart and have no desire for the things of God. Matthew 16:26, Mark 8:36, and Luke 9:25 all share the same message: What will it profit a person if he shall gain the whole world and lose his soul?

I encourage you to take a fresh look at this passage:

Proverbs 31:10-31
Who can find a virtuous woman?
 For her worth is far above rubies.

The heart of her husband safely trusts her;

So he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil
  all the days of her life.

She seeks wool and flax,
 and willingly works with her hands.

She is like the merchant ships,
 she brings her food from afar.

She also rises while it is yet night,
 and provides food for her household,

And a portion for her maidservants.

She considers a field and buys it;
 From her profits she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength,
 and strengthens her arms.

She perceives that her merchandise is good,

And her lamp does not go out by night.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.

She extends her hand to the poor,
 yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of snow for her household,
 for all her household is clothed with scarlet.

She makes tapestry for herself;
 her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Her husband is known in the gates,
 when he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,
 and supplies sashes for the merchants.

Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,
 and on her tongue is the law of kindness.

She watches over the ways of her household,
 and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
 her husband also, and he praises her:

“Many daughters have done well,
 but you excel them all.”

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,

But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands,
 and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Parenting God’s Way

Parents aren’t perfect, and in many situations they aren’t even loving or nurturing. Neither my husband nor I had particularly nurturing mothers, and neither of us had any relationship with our fathers. And nowadays, there are so many dysfunctional families that many children are raising themselves, or in foster homes being raised by people other than their parents. They may not have much of a relationship with their own parents, or even with any parental figure that they can really trust.

However, if you are a parent or a substitute parent, you should be praying diligently for wisdom and guidance from God in order to do a good job of raising your child (or children) for the Lord. There are some specific guidelines in God’s Word that will help. Deuteronomy 6:6 and 7 are two of my favorite verses: “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” It seems to me that these verses are telling us that we should be living in a way that is pleasing to the Lord and teaching our children to do the same, both with words and actions.

Somehow, families have strayed so far from this teaching. I know many parents who quote Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Without being diligent to follow the above teaching, they expect their children to eventually follow the Lord, or they question why that didn’t happen to their children when they thought that they had “trained up their child in the way he should go.” However, Satan has deceived many parents by making them think they are actually training their children in the way they should go just by taking them to Sunday School and church, praying with them at mealtime and/or bedtime, and perhaps even having a short family devotional time.

Although doing those things are fine, just think about all the time that children spend away from their parents, either in a public (or even in a private school), and possibly taking music lessons, playing sports, maybe playing video games, watching television, or even just hanging out with others. I honestly believe that we need to start thinking differently about this, rather than going by what we have experienced ourselves, or see around us. If God wants parents “to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” from the time they rise up until the time they lie down, then there has to be some lifestyle changes within families. There really are resources out there that can be a help to parents who realize they need to make some changes. Contact me if you need some encouragement or ideas.

If you would like to read more on a similar topic, here is a link to another blog post: “God’s Formula for Raising Children in 2020” from Road Less Traveled Tours.