relationships – Transformed ♥ Heart

The words “family” and “families” are mentioned 300 times in just the Old Testament, and the words “husband,” “wife,” “mother,” “father,” “son,” “daughter,” “sister,” “brother,” “child,” and “children” are mentioned hundreds of times in the Old and New Testament. The entire Bible actually revolves around the Father/Son relationship of God and Jesus.

Family is the oldest institution known to man, and the most fundamental of all institutions. It is also the backbone of a nation, since God uses the family to transmit His knowledge from one generation to the next. This is a strategic and eternally vital task to ensure that the light of God’s truth is passed on and not lost from the succeeding generations. Statistics in this area aren’t so great right now. Perhaps, you could be the first in your family to begin a godly lineage and family tree.

The Bible covers every aspect and facet of family relationships. Although individuals have all sorts of ideas and opinions about what a family is, or is supposed to be, and they have their own ideas on how to train children, it’s not our opinions that really matter. It is what God says in His Word, and instructs us to do, that matters.

Genesis 2:23 and 24 begin the husband and wife relationship of marriage, and in Genesis 1: 28, God blesses them and tells them to be fruitful and multiply, showing us that procreation was to be a big part of marriage. However, this was for the purpose of raising up godly children. It’s obvious that most couples can bring a child into the world, but just producing offspring doesn’t really make a “mom” or a “dad”. Psalm 127:1 says that unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it. As you continue reading that chapter, you will find more information about the family. It says that children are a heritage of the Lord, and that “as arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are his children…, and happy is the man that has his quiver full….” That sure is a lot different than couples having none or only one or two children.

Mark 10:6-9 says, “From the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and the two shall be one flesh: so they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” God’s ideal plan for marriage is one man for one woman for life.This plan works when a man loves and leads his family, when the wife respects and supports her husband, and when, with proper training, their children obey and reverence their parents and God. This marriage relationship was actually patterned to illustrate Christ’s love for the body of Christ (the church).

The responsibility of teaching one’s children is multigenerational. Deuteronomy 4:9 tells us to teach God’s ways to not only our sons, but to our son’s sons, and Psalm 78:5-6 says we should make these things known to our children, “that the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children.”

We can find Scripture to help us know the specific roles for each family member. For husbands and fathers, read Ephesians 6:4, Genesis 18:19, and Isaiah 38:19; for wives and mothers, read 1 Peter 3:1-6, Ephesians 5:22-24, and Proverbs 31:10-31; for children, Ephesians 6:1-3; for parents, Proverbs 22:6; and there are many more examples.

Suppose that you were not raised in a Christian home, and your family is so unlike the examples that we see in the above verses. Well, as a child of God, you need not be discouraged. When we come to Christ, we are adopted into the family of God, and we have many brothers and sisters in Christ. In fact, at one point during Christ’s ministry on earth (Mark 3:33-35), some people in the crowd told Him that His mother and brothers were looking for Him, and He replied with, “Whoever does the will of my Father, the same is my brother, my sister, and my mother”, again, stressing the family relationships we have when we are children of God. (And yes, it is so wonderful when a person is both blood related and spiritually related in the Lord.)

One of my favorite examples of God’s love for family is in John 19:26 and 27 where Jesus looks down from the cross and sees His mother. He says to her, “Woman, behold your son!” and to His disciple, John, He says, “Behold your mother!” Even while He was suffering and ready to die, He thought of His earthly mother and wanted her to be taken care of.

I want to leave you with one very important thought. There is only one possible thing that you could take to heaven with you from this earth, and that is your child (or children). That is because, as a parent, you can have the most influence over your children.

One of my mother’s favorite poems was called “One Small Rose” (author unknown). Because of difficult circumstances in her life, my mom never had much of anything on this earth. However, even the few possessions she did have, she would share with others. The following is the first stanza of that poem:

“I would rather have one small rose

From the garden of a friend

Than to have the choicest flowers

When my stay on Earth must end.”

Meaningful relationships with others is so much better than money. So many people spend too much of their lives pursuing prosperity, buying more “stuff”, then building big houses to keep all their “stuff” in. Then, they put in alarm systems, safes, and more locks on their doors, pay a lot for home insurance to protect all of their “stuff”, then, often pay people to clean their houses and all the “stuff” in them, and yet, they still continue to buy more “stuff”. Some houses look more like museums than homes. Those kind of people are too busy to take the time to develop meaningful and lasting relationships with God, their family, and friends. They rarely take time to even spend their money on vacations or other enjoyable experiences. Perhaps they think they will have time for those things when they retire, but if they live to retirement age, will they still have any family or close friends with whom to share those experiences?

If you find that you are caught up in the lifestyle described above, 1 Timothy 6:6-10 is a good reminder: “Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we should be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil, for which some have strayed from the faith with their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”

Verse 11 then tells us “to flee those things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and gentleness.” Having those character qualities will certainly make for lasting relationships.