shame

Don’t Look Back

The following are three different instances in the Bible that tell us not to look back:

Philippians 3:13,14 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

The first part, “forgetting those things which are behind”, could refer to anything in your past that causes you guilt or shame, or it could even be any past achievements and successes that could discourage you if you feel that you are in a dry period of your life right now. “Reaching forth unto those things which are before” (focusing on the goal of what Christ has called us to do, and how He wants us to live as His child, including His suffering, and His death in order to experience His resurrected life) “I press toward the mark” (our objective of knowing Him more intimately) “for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus”, (the joyful satisfaction of having attained our objective).

Luke 9:62 “And Jesus said unto him, No man having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”

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Believing that the lesser matters of life are more important than being obedient to the Word of God and the greater priority of the work that God has for us, makes a Christian of little use to the Lord.

Genesis 19:17b,25,26 “Escape for your life; look not behind you….And he [the Lord] overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground. But his [Lot’s] wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.”

Genesis 19 tells the story of how God destroyed the cities of the plain of Jordan because of the wickedness that was there. Lot had “vexed” his spirit while living there due to the rampant sin that was around him, but God still found him to be a righteous man and said that He would spare he and his family if they left their home in that city very quickly. (We know that Lot and his wife had two unmarried daughters and some married daughters, but the families of the married ones chose not to leave the city after they were warned.) As they escaped, the angel told Lot, his wife, and his two daughters not to look back behind them. As the fire and brimstone rained upon the cities, Lot’s wife looked back, and the Bible says that she became a pillar of salt. Perhaps she looked back because she had more family there, or it may be that she was thinking about her home and all of her stuff that she had there. In Luke 17:21-33 Jesus uses this incident as a warning of what things will be like in the “last days” before His return (“Remember Lot’s wife”, verse 32). [This occurred in the area of the salty Dead Sea, and there is a lot of rock salt everywhere in that region.]

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So, what can we learn from these passages of Scripture? We are reminded to keep our focus on the Lord. No matter what our past was like, we need to look at what God is doing in our life right now, and what He can and will do in the future. Satan will try to remind us of all our past failures. He may try to shame us, making us feel guilty and depressed about our past sins. He may even try to make us feel proud, telling us how good we are compared to others, but let me remind you to plug your ears to the enemy, and don’t look back!

A Prayer for Healing Memories

As I was sorting through some old papers, and looking for things to recycle and throw away, I came across this prayer by Agnes Sanford. I had copied this into my journaling notebook when I was in college (and really struggling with our dysfunctional family situation). I thought it may be helpful to someone who is reading my blogs:

“Lord Jesus, I ask you to enter into this person who has need of your healing in the depths of the mind. I ask you to come, Lord, as a careful housekeeper might come into a house that has long been closed and neglected. Open all the windows and let in the fresh wind of your Spirit. Raise the shades, that the sunlight of Your love may fill this house of the soul. Where there is sunlight, there cannot be darkness. Therefore, I rejoice that as the light of Your love now fills this mansion of the soul, all darkness shall flee away. And indeed in Your Name I speak to that darkness gently telling it that it cannot abide here in this one whom you have redeemed upon your cross. Look and see, O Lord, whether there be any ugly pictures, take them down and give to this memory-house pictures of beauty and joy; so out of all the ugliness of the past make beauty. Transform old sorrows into the power to comfort others who have sorrowed. Heal old wounds by your redemptive love, and turn them mysteriously into a love that heals the wounds of others.

Go back, O Lord, through all the rooms of this memory-house. Open every closed door and look into every closet and bureau drawer and see if there be any dirty and broken things that are no longer needed in one’s present life, and if so, O Lord take them completely away. I give thanks! for this is the promise of the Scriptures: As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm103:12) Look, O Lord, upon any memories that may come up from the deep mind as those words are meditated upon, and in Thy mercy fulfill in this thy servant that forgiveness accomplished long ago on Calvary.

Go back even to the nursery in this memory-house — even to the years of childhood. Here, also, open windows long sealed and let in the gentle sunlight of Your love. Here, more than anywhere, Lord, make everything clean and beautiful within. Take a broom of mercy and sweep away all dirt from the floor of this memory-room, even the confusion and horror and the shame of ancient memories, perhaps of childish and uncomprehended sins, perhaps of the sins of the parents, those parents who should have been as God to this child, and were not.

Take a clean cloth, O Lord, and wash away all dust and wipe away every stain from the walls and from the furniture. Purge this Your child with hyssop, O Lord that the heart may be clean. Wash this one, that the soul (which was created in your own image and after your own likeness), may be whiter than snow. Look within the closets and under the furniture and see whether there be any broken and dirty toys, and old unclean rags of memory that are surely not needed any more at all in the adult life. And if so, O Lord, take them entirely away; gather them into your own redemptive love , that the burden of them may rest upon the soul no more.

Follow the soul of this Your child all the way back to the hour of birth and heal the soul even of the pain and the fear of being born into this darksome world. Restore in the soul that bright memory of your eternal being, that is not exactly memory, but which is rather an emanation, an unconscious infilling of the eternal radiance from which this one was born. And if even before birth the soul was shadowed by this human life and was darkened by the fears or sorrow of the human parents, then I pray that even those memories and impressions may be healed, so that this one may be restored to your original  pattern, the soul as free and as clean as though nothing had ever dimmed its shining. Thus, I pray, O Lord, that you will restore the soul as You made it to be and will quicken and awaken in it all those creative impulses and ideas that you have placed therein, so that whatever your purpose may be for its human pilgrimage, that purpose may be fulfilled.

‘He restores my soul,’ so said David long ago. ‘He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His Name’s sake.’ (Psalm 23:3) I give thanks, O Lord, knowing that this healing of the soul is Your will and is the very purpose of the giving of Your life for us, and therefore, it is now being accomplished, and by faith, I set the seal upon it. Amen.”